Are you tired of exerting so much energy on dusties that add nothing to your life at the end of the day? If your answer is yes – as I assume it is – you need to learn how to be in your feminine energy with a man. 

You know how we often say, “You have to kiss a few frogs before you meet your prince?” I often wonder if that needs to be the case or if we say that to comfort ourselves because we don’t want to look inward. 

I apologize for sounding harsh; that is not my intention. I understand that we need to give room for nuance, especially in conversations of the heart. 

I also get that in certain cases, you don’t know who or what you are dealing with until significant time has passed. 

However, in the spirit of taking responsibility for our lives, we also need to consider if we keep falling into these situations because we miss certain things. Maybe your dating life is the way it is because you are channeling masculine energy when you should be in your feminine energy. 

Doing the former is not only going to get you drained because you are going against your nature, but it will also put you in a constant “go-mode” when you should be soft. 

As a woman, your place is settling into your position as the one made to receive love and be pampered like a princess. 

If you are not getting that, you are either doing something wrong or with the wrong man. Either way, learning how to be in your feminine energy with a man is the solution. 

This post shows you how. 

1. Don’t Offer to Split the Bill 

Social media dating conversations are full of advocacy for going Dutch. Some men are making so much noise about how a real woman offers to split bills, and women are beginning to fall for it. 

Let me just say this clearly – you should never offer to split the bill on a date. A man who expects you to do so is not the one – period!

A masculine man provides, and a feminine woman receives. In fact, it is the pride of a masculine man to provide for his queen. It excites such a man to meet her needs and wants 😉. 

So, you shouldn’t settle for one who expects you to go Dutch, and you should definitely never offer to do so. 

2. Stay in Your Softness, Not Struggle Mode 

I know – you are a strong woman. Well, this is not a campaign to get you to lose your strength but to redefine it. The question is, “What’s your definition of strength?”

Is it being the woman who is always in control, leading and being in charge?

Or is it one that understands that admitting you need help is the greatest display of strength? 

If you are the former, let me speak to you. Your relationships are likely the way they are because you are always “strong”. This kind of strong woman often attracts men who expect to be carried. 

If you want to attract an active man who knows his job is to take charge in the relationship, you need to not be ashamed of and embrace your softness. 

Why struggle when you should be pampered? Right? Right! 

3. Speak Less, Observe More 

The Good Book says, “Be slow to speak and swift to hear”. This advice applies to all facets of life, including romantic relationships. 

If you want to learn how to be in your feminine energy when dating, you need to learn to speak less and observe more. 

Speaking too often will make you give yourself away. And while that’s not necessarily a bad thing, it can be a terrible thing with the wrong man. 

However, when you watch and listen, you’ll be able to figure out the kind of man you are dealing with faster. 

Dusty men reveal themselves quickly, so let them talk while you do the listening. 

4. Never Play the ‘Ride-or-Die’ Role 

If you ever hear a man call a woman his ride or die, more often than not, it is a woman who stayed despite a series of disrespect and philandering. 

Men also call a woman this when she stays with them despite their being unambitious, lazy and passive. 

Knowing how to be in your feminine energy with a man will teach you not to waste your time with such a man. 

Of course, this doesn’t mean that you cannot build with a man; you just need to build with a man who’s already built – not one who’s just figuring his life out. 

5. Let Men Earn Your Nurturing 

Many times, women fall into the trap of nurturing the wrong men. I mean, I get it; we are naturally nurturing and always want to pour into the people around us. 

However, you can choose who you pour into. 

In the first place, understand that you cannot fix anyone, so get rid of that I-Can-Fix-Him mentality. 

You should also do away with that feeling that you are special – if a guy is a scrub, he won’t magically become great because he is with you. 

Rather than waste your time and energy being a free therapist for a man who can’t get his sh*t together, invest that energy into one who deserves it. 

Only give your softness and nurture to a provider; he gives so he is allowed to take. 

6. Stay Out of ‘Pick Me’ Energy 

I used to have a lot of impatience for pick-mes. I felt they were bound on destroying all the efforts women make to decenter men in their lives. 

However, I have come to be more understanding of the fact that conditioning is not the easiest thing to strip oneself of. 

Women have been made to feel like they are second-class citizens created to cater to men’s whims for centuries, so it is understandable when a woman struggles to see herself beyond that. 

So, if you can relate to this, I want to inform you kindly that you are a whole human being. You don’t need a man to define your existence. 

This doesn’t mean you hate men; what it means is that you know your worth is not affected whether a guy wants you or not. 

So, you don’t have to chase men or prove your worth. The right man will recognize your value effortlessly.

Read More: Black Cat Energy: 10 Rules To Never Chase Men Again!

7. Don’t Accept the ‘What Do You Bring to the Table?’ Question 

This question is disrespectful, to say the least, and it shows you are not dealing with an insightful man. 

A man who is worth your time knows you are already enough – nothing less, nothing more. 

Of course, this does not mean you shouldn’t want more for yourself or even contribute to your relationship. But you don’t need to prove this to anyone. 

If he cannot see that you are the table – you, in all your glory – leave him like a bad habit. 

8. Reject Struggle Conversations 

Similar to the point above, another way to learn how to be in your feminine energy with a man is to reject conversations that indicate a man has a poverty mentality. 

You know, those men who cannot even imagine themselves living in abundance, who are always looking for a woman who will put up with their limited mindset. 

Feminine women don’t settle for such men. It is clear he is not a leader, and he has no foundation. 

Find yourself a real man and see the difference – he has dreams and is ready to work to realize them. 

He is also not looking for a woman to put up with lack; he is grinding to make sure he can take care of his woman. 

9. Watch How He Handles ‘No’ 

Does he throw tantrums when you state your boundaries, or does he respect them?

Feminine women watch out for this – they don’t put up with men who don’t respect boundaries. They don’t tolerate a man child who guilt-trips or manipulates women when they say no.

It will be a mistake to let men like this make you afraid to say no. Feminine women don’t care whether a dusty’s feeling is hurt because she is setting boundaries. 

She knows mature men respect boundaries and so only gives them her attention. 

10. Never Initiate Plans or Pursue 

I get it – you like him, so you want to initiate; you don’t want to lose him. 

We understand, girl, we’ve all been there. But we cannot afford to stay there – that’s not how to be in your feminine energy with a man. 

A feminine woman never initiates. She sits pretty and lets the man take charge of the relationship. 

She doesn’t pursue a man to keep his words. She lets him show his interest through action, not empty words. If he doesn’t, she knows how to throw him where he belongs. 

11. Require Emotional Security, Not Just Financial 

Several men feel that all they have to do is provide financially, and everything is good. 

In fact, some of them believe they can misbehave as long as they are providing. 

Ladies, that’s unacceptable. A feminine woman doesn’t just require financial security; she expects emotional security. 

She only gives room to men who know they have to protect her lifestyle and her heart – she needs to be settled on both sides, or she will leave.

12. Keep Your Feminine Mystique 

Mystery attracts a sense of intrigue that increases respect. If a man knows all there is to know about you, especially at the initial stage, he doesn’t have anything to look forward to anymore. 

Therefore, knowing how to keep your feminine mystique is one sure way to be in your feminine energy when dating. It makes you more attractive. 

So, quit over-explaining yourself; keep some things in and let him wonder about you.

13. Speak in a Soft, Slow Tone 

Women, aggression is not in our natural makeup; women are meant to be soft. 

Apart from this, though, it drives away time-wasters because dusties love loud and aggressive women. 

They don’t appreciate soft women, softness bores them. So, there is no better way to separate the wheat from the chaff than to be comfortable in your softness. 

14. Be Unbothered & Hard to Impress 

A male friend once told me the reason he went for his wife was because of how hard she was to impress. 

According to him, when he met her in a new apartment he moved into, she had a roommate who was interested in him. 

He befriended both of them and frequented their apartment, and while every little thing he did impressed her roommate, his now-wife did not seem to find him fascinating at all. 

That made him want to try his hardest to impress her. So, he pulled out all the stops just to get her to smile.

Do you see where I’m going with this? Masculine men like a challenge, and they step up to it. 

If you are constantly so easily impressed, you give them nothing to do. And you’ll end up with a dusty who doesn’t like a challenge and prefers women who are easy to impress.

If you want a man of value – like I know you do – you need to let them work for it.

15. Never Accept the ‘Let’s Just Chill’ Date

Do you want to be a woman for whom a man puts intention into taking on a date?

Or do you want to be a woman for whom a man doesn’t put any thought into taking out because he knows she will accept anything?

I’m willing to bet you want the former. If yes, you should never accept a date that is obviously not planned. 

That’s not how to be in your feminine energy with a man. Feminine women accept only high-value men who plan and put intention into dating. 

Do yourself a favor and don’t settle for less. Nobody should be allowed to call you like a last-minute addition to his day.

16. Keep Your Financial Life Private 

Disclosing your financial status is not how to be in your feminine energy with a man. That’s not something high-value women do. 

Plus, a real provider doesn’t need to know. I mean, he is not expecting you to be the provider anyway, so he doesn’t need to know how much you make. 

17. Let Silence Do the Work 

Trust me, men know what they are doing – everybody does. So, explaining yourself when he is being disrespectful is just giving yourself unnecessary stress. 

Go quiet; if he is worth your time, he will immediately seek redress. 

If he doesn’t, it shows he is a weak man, and you are better off without him anyway. 

18. Stay in Your Feminine Flow 

Embrace your feminine flow. 

You are a woman; you are not created to live a stressful life; you should be basking in your soft girl era. 

Let your man handle the stress for you. Trust me, if he is a masculine man, he wants to.