There is so much pressure for women already to look and be their best even on their worse days let alone like they just walked out of a Pinterest board. No one talks about the financial burden of living beyond your means just to live an aesthetic lifestyle.

Now I will be honest, Yes. I do live that lifestyle, It’s just not aesthetic. Self care isn’t always rosy like people portray it to be and just like you I have bad days too and I want to reiterate that its okay to have bad days, its okay if your breakfast isn’t instagrammable everyday or if green smoothies just aren’t your thing.

The point is to be your own version of THAT Girl not societal’s standard. Being the best version of yourself isn’t glamorous and if I’m being honest it usually cost nothing. It’s the boring unappealing things that make you better version of yourself.

It’s incredibly unrealistic for one person’s definition of that girl to look the same for every single girl, it’s like expecting every single girl to fit into a stereotype, a girl that dresses the same, looks the same and is into the same interests. The goal should be for you to define what that girl (a.k.a best version of yourself ) looks like for you.

HOW TO ACTUALLY BE YOUR BEST SELF

Less perfection More acceptance.

Having a that girl aesthetic is unrealistic for most and while you might desire to live a polished lifestyle, you have to be privileged to wake up early, make green smoothies, wear yoga pants and lounge in aesthetic apartments all day. The ‘That girl’ aesthetic does not consider busy working moms, students who live in dorms, or people with 5 side hustles. It can pretty exhausting.

It’s more liberating to accept the parts of yourself that you don’t like and slowly work on the parts of yourself you would like to change with love. It’s okay if you don’t look like an instagram model or if you just can’t prioritise expensive self care treatments right now. You don’t need aggressive diets and overpriced rituals to feel your best.

Be kind to yourself whatever the stage you are in your self development journey.

Undoubtedly, if you want to change your life there are small simple habits, that can make big changes to your life. It takes self awareness to really achieve the right balance and figure out your daily non-negotiables for you. This practise makes for a happier person instead of someone that tries to do it all and have it all in a short amount of of time.

What’s your own definition of ‘that girl’

Flip it around and make it work for you. You don’t have to be aesthetic to live your dream life.

If your version of that girl is the girl that comes from a small town, wakes up at 8am to go to work, comes back home after a long day to cook or snuggle up with her cat then so be it!

If your version of that girl is the girl who has 2 kids and is still trying to work a full time job then you be that girl and be proud about it.

If you are in college trying to make your dreams come true, and you are trying to save while at it then you do that. Women are not a monolith, we have varying interests and different styles. What would make you happy if you did it everyday? You go do that.

If it makes you feel inadequate then why do it?

If you are doing it so others can see what an amazing life you are living or if you are doing to get validation from others then you need to think about if this is actually making you happy.

If you are feeling overwhelmed or anxious about the idea of living and investing in the that girl aesthetic, then redefine what becoming your best self really means.

What part of yourself do you want to highlight? What part of yourself do you think the world needs to see? That’s the first step towards becoming your best self for yourself.

Favour,

Xo.