When you stop caring about what other people think you become an unstoppable force to be reckoned with. You become a badass. You would be surprised by how much you can accomplish this year by honestly not caring what other people think. Not caring will pave the way for connections, work opportunities, enlightening experiences, and happiness.
Being unbothered by other people’s opinions has made manifesting my goals a lot quicker than I imagined. I used to care so much about others that I had to read two whole books on the topic. And in this post, I will let you in on 25 reasons why you must stop caring, and start adopting an unbothered mindset.
Just to be clear, not caring what other people think does not mean that you become a stone-cold unfeeling robot, it just means that the opinions of other people no longer weigh you down, no longer dictates your behaviour or how you perceive yourself. It becomes you against you and not others.
1. Your focus becomes external
By caring what others think, you place the focus on what others are doing and saying instead of yourself. Your healing begins when you focus on the internal, not external, and it is certainly not based on what others failed to do or are doing to you.
If you care so much about what others think about you, you start to bend over backwards to please others just to get them to like you. You are better off focusing on improving yourself.
Confident people rarely focus on what others are doing around them, they are more interested in how they can highlight their strengths and improve their weaknesses.
2. If you want to be truly happy
The initial gratification from getting external validation will only bring you temporary happiness. You are the only one who can make you happy. Choose your happiness and choose yourself over the overwhelming demand and expectations of others.
Ask yourself, what would you rather be doing if you stop caring what others think? Find something that you are truly passionate about, that is more important than the opinions of others. I learnt that from The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A … by Mark Manson.
3. You don’t want to end up like them anyways
Before you even consider what people have to say about you, pay more attention to the source. Is this the person you want to be like or end up like? if don’t want to end up like someone you wouldn’t want to be like, why does their opinion even matter?
They always say that people who matter don’t care and people who care don’t matter. Remember that critics have the most criticism reserved for themselves. It is usually those who criticise the most that have done the absolute least so leave them where they are at and keep moving forward.
4. People have different realities
People from all walks of life can share the same societal conditioning and are still able to interpret things differently. The fact that people fundamentally have different beliefs, and come from various multicultural backgrounds with different genetic and mental wiring is enough reason why you should stop caring what other people think.
Everyone is trying to make sense of their life experience and we are all walking at different life stages.
Also, people have different vibrational frequencies, some people are living in a state of fear, anger, shame, or love, joy and acceptance. Find the frequency you want to tune into and lead with that.
5. It lowers your vibration
This is subsequent to number 4. Once you start letting others get to you you start to become like them.
For example, say you want to follow your dreams and quit your job and say you tell it to your ‘friends’. They will probably give you reasons to not go through with it. Your higher self knows what’s best for you but then you succumb to your ego which craves a need for survival and the need to fit in.
Just because your friends can’t do something, they might subconsciously or consciously tell you why you can’t do it too, which as you can imagine spending time with people like this will make you feel like sh*t.
6. You begin to doubt your self
You should stop caring about the opinions of others it leads to you doubting your ability to make decisions for yourself because when you start listening to everybody, you stop listening to yourself.
7. We are all going to leave this earth alone
Most importantly, you should stop caring about what people say because you came to this world alone, and (not to sound grim but…) you will get to the end of your life.
How you choose to live your life is entirely up to you, but you have to remember that the longest/closest relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself.
What good would it do to waste your life caring about what others think by living according to their standards?
8. People are fickle
The same people who criticise you and fail to support you in the early stages that you try to do something will be the very same people to turn around and say that ‘they knew you could do it all along’.
Everyone wants to be around successful people but the people who stand by you when you went through hard times are the people who really matter.
It’s easy for people to criticise the unfamiliar, but when you make it they will be the same people trying to figure out how you did it.
9. You start to thrive in your ego
You are constantly in your survival mode because your focus is external. Instead of giving yourself validation, the external validation you desire is reinforced heavily by your need for competition to stay relevant, to feel accepted and a need to be overly self-conscious.
The ego weakens the relationship we can have with ourselves as we start to seek survival, we stifle the inner voice which is your superpower.
10. You give away your power
Your intuition a.k.a higher self is your superpower, listening to others instead of listening to yourself is often a recipe for feeling powerless, helpless, and like a victim.
Take back your power and start putting yourself on a pedestal. Nobody has ever been worth listening to more than you. This is your life, stop caring about other people’s opinions.
11. They don’t know you
Okay let’s be honest, these people don’t even know you and no, knowing someone on a superficial level doesn’t count, so the fact that they are close to you doesn’t even matter.
I’m talking about knowing you at your core. Your hopes and dreams, what you want out of life, the person who you want to become, your past, your life experiences, even your likes and dislikes, why you do what you do, I could go on and on.
If you are honest with yourself, they don’t know you like that, so why should you care. They probably don’t even know themselves that well either. You can only connect with someone at your own level of consciousness.
12. They are projecting a lot of the time
Caring about what people think can be dangerous if you are not very self-aware.
Most people are self-focused and will often try to project their limiting beliefs and insecurities on your life. We might not even be aware that we are projecting, but the reality is that we all project.
You need to be aware of someone else’s projection by asking yourself if what they are accusing you of is even based on your own reality
13. People treat you how they feel about themselves
Don’t internalise how other people treat you because it will chip away at your self-esteem. If someone is nasty towards you, imagine the internal battle that they are going through.
The best thing you can do with people like that is to leave them in their own misery because joining them in their misery will mean that they won. Learn to let go of what no longer serves you.
14. Some people have a need to be right
They don’t really care about you or your opinion, they just want a sounding board to affirm that they are right ALL of the time.
Never try to explain yourself to people who have dedicated their time to misunderstanding you. Pick your battles wisely to avoid circular dizzying conversations.
15. It doesn’t add to your time, energy and money
This was one the gamechanger for me from the book by Sarah Knight. Time is an underrated resource that you can never get back. You can get money back but you need time and energy to make money. Do you see how they all work together?
It’s a waste of time, money and energy arguing with people about what’s best for you. Some discussions, conversations, dilemmas just aren’t worth it.
16. You block your own blessings
Paying attention to the negativity of others will no doubt cause you to start living in negativity. You begin to see the world as a gloomy place instead of a place filled with opportunities and growth. That negativity you let in spreads to all aspects of your life – your communication, your body language, your energy levels.
The external noise becomes a hindrance to your success as it blocks your own ability to manifest because of the unnecessary distractions.
17. You feel the itch/inconvenience the most.
If you are going through something difficult, particularly if it is a dilemma that your friend has not been through, they have no business telling you how to feel or giving you unsolicited advice.
You know where the shoe pinches the most. No one will suffer the consequences of your choices but you. Your friend can give you advice but they won’t have to live with the choices you will make.
18. You can’t please everybody
This goes without saying, do what makes you happy because you can’t possibly make everyone happy. I did a post on the dangers of people-pleasing a while back.
19. Your opinion is the one that truly matters
Before you consider what others are saying about you, have you stopped to ask yourself what you think? What’s your opinion on all of this? Your opinion should be the standard for how you measure your self-worth. If you don’t think you are pretty, it does not matter if someone else thinks that you are, because deep down you don’t believe it to be true.
20. Your expectation of others are too high
If you have low expectations of others especially when they show you who they are, you become immune to their actions and words.
Your expectations for yourself should be higher than the bar you set for others. When you manage your expectations, people’s opinions of you begin to have less weight.
21. You are your own biggest competition
The art of being unbothered by what others think is by mastering the idea that you are your biggest obstacle.
The only competition you have is with yourself, your procrastination, your negative thoughts, your played out stories, your victim mentality, that is what you are competing against.
What you need to do is focus on yourself, shut off social media, keep your goals to yourself and move in silence.
22. It keeps you stuck and stagnant
If you become easily triggered by the criticism of others, it just keeps you from doing anything but complain. Complaining gives you a free pass to affirm the negative beliefs you have of yourself without actually coming up with a solution.
This type of thinking hinders your ability to develop a growth mindset and keeps you stuck in a fixed mindset. You should be more scared of being the same person you were at 18, 25, 40 than the idea of people criticising you.
23. Your life becomes easier and stress free
Some people love drama so much that they love to spread it. If you have ‘friends’ who come to tell you what he-say-she-say. Dissolve the conversation by not adding more fuel to it or by simply ignoring it.
They will quickly learn that bringing drama to you is uninteresting so they will stop and slowly fall out from your life.
24. You will be manipulated easily
You are easily controlled when you are easily triggered. If every little thing someone does gets your attention, a toxic person will quickly know how to use you to get what they want, which is to get a reaction out of you.
The less you react the better, even though you are on the verge of losing your marbles. Again, the point here is that misery will always love company.
25. Everyone has their sh*t
No one is perfect, people have just gotten really good at pretending that their life is better than yours. Every single person on earth has something that they would be ashamed about if it got out.
The thing is people are really good at hiding their skeletons. Everyone is on an equal playing field and when you realise that you stop caring what other people think of you which will help boost your confidence.