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Master the art of detachment and become magnetic.
He ghosted you? You’re too pretty to care.
Besides it’s time to pivot to someone better!
If you want to become this hot and unbothered, keep reading. I will be uncovering some dark feminine principles that will help you master the art of detachment.
Mastering the art of detachment will affect you positively in your life when it comes to your career, relationships, friendships and other pending manifestations.
This article is especially helpful for those who identify as codependents and are looking to transition from feeling insecure to becoming a fully secure babe who thrives independently.
What Is The Art Of Detachment In Love?
Detachment often comes with misconceptions.
As humans, we’re biologically predisposed to form attachments and have feelings.
However, the art of detachment in love isn’t about eliminating emotions; it’s about managing them in a healthy way, while allowing people to be who they are without cajoling them, reacting to them or taking responsibility for them.
This revelation struck me after reading Women Who Love Too Much. The book provides profound insights into why detachment is vital, especially for codependent individuals.
I like to use this analogy.
Imagine you’re throwing this amazing party and you’re having a really good time, you meet some new people that you click with and maybe you share a few drinks and laughs.
While hanging out with you, they decide that it’s time for them to leave the party.
Something else came up and now they have to go home.
Would you cancel your party just because some strangers decided they wanted no more of it?
Would you stop having fun at your party?
The party has to go on! The party in this case is your life.
You filled it with so much that you just can’t resist – the samosas, balloons, a live band, a live elephant, all you can eat buffet, your swarovski dress, and a celebratory cake.
Would you leave all that because a few strangers or friends decided that they wanted to quit.
No.
You would enjoy the rest of your evening to see what more fun party surprises this day has in store for you, because you’ve invested too much in your party already danit!
That is the art of detachment in motion.
Why It’s Important To Detach
Attaching super quickly without allowing a slow boil is an unhealthy dependence on relationships where one person will do anything to avoid feelings of abandonment.
They cling to relationships, even toxic dead end ones, to avoid being alone.
If you find yourself giving excessively in relationships and constantly getting the short end of the stick, you might be dealing with codependency.
When we become overly attached, it often stems from a desire to control. We give love, time, and affection to keep someone in our lives, which can ironically push them away.
A classic scenario involves a woman who, after meeting a man, begins to neglect her own life and interests to focus solely on him. This shift can lead to the man losing interest, leaving her feeling unfulfilled and chasing the remnants of a fading relationship.
Why Detachment Matters
- Emotional Stability: By practicing detachment, you achieve greater emotional stability. You become less reactive to external events and more centered in your inner peace.
- Improved Relationships: Detachment allows for healthier relationships. By not clinging to others or becoming overly dependent, you can appreciate and respect people for who they are without imposing your expectations on them.
- Better Decision-Making: When you are not swayed by emotional turbulence, you can make more rational and balanced decisions.
- Less Stress: Detachment helps in reducing stress as you are less likely to be overwhelmed by negative emotions or situations.
How Do You Practise The Art Of Detachment?
An excerpt from Norwood’s book beautifully encapsulates the essence of detachment:
“Detachment requires that you get your ego disentangled from his feelings and especially from his actions and their results. It requires that you allow him to deal with the consequences of his behavior. You don’t save him from any of his pain. You may continue to care about him. The way you don’t take care of him, you allow him to find his own way just as you are working to find yours.”
This passage emphasizes the importance of allowing others to face their own struggles while you focus on your own life.
1. Have Your Own Life
To master the art of detachment, you must prioritize yourself.
Keep your attention and affection primarily on your own life and interests.
Even if someone new comes along, your life should not revolve around them.
This mindset ensures you remain the biggest priority in your life, making you more attractive and less likely to lose yourself in a relationship.
2. Avoid Romanticizing New People
One key to art of detachment is not romanticizing strangers you just met.
Recognize the impermanence of things – everything in life is transient. By also acknowledging that people do not belong to you, you can adopt a more detached perspective and avoid getting overly attached too soon.
View them as just another person in your life, without creating fantasies about potential futures.
This helps you stay grounded and focused on reality. Romanticize your life instead!
3. Get Hobbies You Actually Like
The art of detachment is deeply rooted in practising self care.
When you’re focused on your hobbies, career, and passions, you’re less likely to get overly attached to others.
Practice being selfish with your time and attention, and ensure you have a fulfilling life outside of any relationship.
4. Be Selfish With Your Attention
Even in existing relationships, avoid giving too much attention and energy. Instead of seeking external validation from others, start giving yourself all the validation and attention you are seeking from others.
Attention can look like constantly thinking about them, doing things to please them, lurking on their page and obsessing over them. Doing less of obsessing over them and focusing on yourself for once, will reduce the power they have over you.
Also, over-familiarity can breed disrespect. Make yourself scarce sometimes following your other pursuits.
Ensure your interactions are balanced and that you’re not the one doing all the emotional work.
5. Meet More People
Don’t limit yourself to one date.
This principle applies to friendships as well—diversify your social interactions and avoid relying on a single person for all your emotional needs.
Broaden your social circle and create different connections for various aspects of your life.
This approach ensures you’re not overly dependent on any one person for your emotional fulfillment.
6. Focus on The Experience, Not The Outcome
Accept that you cannot control everything. Focus on what you can influence and let go of the rest. This reduces anxiety and fosters a sense of peace.
When dating, shift your focus from seeking commitment to just enjoying the experience.
This mindset allows you to appreciate the moment and prevents you from becoming overly attached to the outcome.
Enjoying high-quality experiences and interactions will enrich your life, regardless of the relationship’s duration.
7. Develop a Spiritual Practise
When you feel your emotions going off on a spiral, consider the following;
- Meditation: Regular meditation practice can train your mind to detach from unhelpful thoughts and emotions.
- Breathing Exercises: Deep breathing can help calm your mind and reduce emotional reactivity.
- Visualization: Imagine a peaceful place where you feel completely detached from your worries. Visit this place in your mind whenever you feel overwhelmed.
Why The Art Of Detachment is So Powerful
Ironically detaching gives us what we want because there is no longer resistance. I talk about this more in this ebook.
Your Attention Is Currency
When you focus more on yourself, people around you as well as your desires tend to be more drawn to you. You become energetically magnetic. People are naturally intrigued by those who are less available and more mysterious.
Why? Because scarcity increases perceived value.
This isn’t about playing games; it’s about genuinely investing in your own happiness and living for yourself.
Mastering detachment is about prioritizing yourself and your own life.
By doing so, you become a more secure, inter-dependent, and attractive woman. Always remember, attachment is not love—it’s a form of control. Love yourself first, and everything else will follow.
I hope this article inspires you to embark on the journey to master the art of detachment, so that you can lead a more secure and fulfilling life. Let me know your thoughts in the comments or via email. Until next time, stay magical!
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