Well I know what you must be thinking. Isn’t it rude to come up with excuses to get out of plans for the sake of self care??!!
Now a big disclaimer this article was made for mostly laughs and is actually intended to be used on toxic overbearing people that you’d rather stick needles in your eyes than to hang out with them.
Feel free to adjust these excuses to get out of plans to suit the relationship and make them feel more authentic or realistic if needed. Remember, this post is all in good fun!
Do not do this to your friends and family who care about you. If at all you can’t make the plans you made with your people, just be honest – let them know you can’t make it and have a raincheck.
Thanks to the people on the internet especially the Reddit community, you now have these 118 fool-proof excuses to get out of plans.
You May Also Like: 30 Funny Self Care Memes That Are Oh So Relatable
Excuses To Get Out Of Plans
1. My friend used to say he had to go get his unicorns teeth cleaned when he wasn’t interested in doing something. Got me every time!
2. A guy I was dating was coming back from a trip from the countryside and texted me about meeting up later that day when he is back in the city.
I said yes but I also told him we needed to talk about something I had wanted to talk about with him previously already. He said OK, he is ready to talk about it.
Then literally 10 minutes after he asked me to meet he messaged me that he has to cancel because he is hungry and he has to eat.
I mean eating usually doesn’t take very long and is not an exclusively solitary activity but whatever…
3. This calls to mind a meme that cracks me up every time I see it.
“Hey, what are you doing tonight?”
“Generic excuse.”
“Did you just say ‘generic excuse’?”
4. I already have my pajamas on.
5. I always say that I have a dentist appointment… a bar 22h at a Friday night? Sorry I have a dentist appointment.
6. Sorry, my cat needs attention and I can’t leave the house.
7. Or the classic introvert response… it’s too peopley outside.
8. Sorry, I have to sanitize my cell phone that night.
9. My old job had an awful woman as the office manager. Among many things, one that she was crazy about was that everyone had to give explicit reason for calling in when they left a voicemail.
One night some of my coworkers/friends and I were hanging out, we decided to call and leave a couple of fake call in messages to the store’s attendance line. All this, knowing we’d show up like normal the next day.
The two I can remember “I fell out of my treehouse and broke every bone in my body on the way down” and “I have Scarlett fever”
Morning comes and one of the friends sleeps through her alarm and her phone, for whatever reason, wasn’t making outbound calls so she couldn’t call and explain she was on her way. Somehow we didn’t get fired.
10. I mean there’s the all time classic: “I need to wash my hair.”
For anyone who has ever watched the old tv series The Brady Bunch, this was a serious Marcia Brady situation.
She’d take a phone call from a groovy friend of hers who wanted to do a wholesome hangout, like go to the library together, and she’d get visibly stressed and be like, “I’m sorry Linda, that sounds really great, but I HAVE to wash my HAIR that day!”
Then she’d get off the phone really disappointed that she couldn’t make plans with her friend.
11. Two words: Explosive. Diarrhea.
12. My parents cancelled a trip to visit me because my mom “had a bad feeling” about traveling.
13. I have to unjunk my junk drawer.
14. Due to lack of interest tomorrow is cancelled…
15. I have a lasagna in the oven.
16. To be fair, some of us have long/thick/damaged hair that does require hours and hours to prep, wash, and return to some kind of socially acceptable condition. And given this time commitment, wash day is often blocked off well in advance.
Now, if the person in question is bald, then perhaps this would be a lame excuse…but otherwise, hair washing is a valid excuse for not doing plans.
17. Friends have used the “I’ve got laundry to do” excuse.
18. Pants are already off.
19. Seems like your voice is scratchy and I don’t want to get sick.
20. Sorry I got a huge pimple and now I’m too embarassed to be seen in public. Legit excuse after I quit birth control. 🥲
21. I’m stuck in an oil painting.
22. Sorry, I have an appointment in 3 days and I need to mentally prepare for it.
23. I had a friend bail last minute once because “I’m on a cleaning streak and don’t want to stop”. 😅
24. Whatever excuse you give, refer to yourself in the 3rd person. When they point it out ignore them and keep doing it.
25. I’m already in the house for the day and not leaving again. It’s 10am lol
Good Excuses To Get Out Of Plans
26. I used to have a friend who could not go on dates on Tuesdays, because Tuesday was her “dog’s day” and she took him to the park and spent the whole evening with him.
She would not, under any circumstances, cancel or reschedule dog’s day. It had to be Tuesday.
Every man she ever dated thought this was insane and she is now 45 and still single… not that there’s anything wrong with that if you want to be single… but she did not want to be.
She does not understand where she went wrong.
Well that took a dark turn 😳.
27. I gotta water my fridge.
28. “I can’t go out to xyz. I passed away this morning. Sorry for the inconvenience” y’all feel free to use this one. I don’t mind.
29. Girl I briefly dated a guy who got upset with me for not texting him back right away while I was painting my nails. To be fair, I was painting my nails so I didn’t have to text him back right away. He was becoming quite tedious.
30. “Lol literally watching paint dry.”
…was still better than talking to him!
31. I have to check with my parole officer. Let me get back to you. (I promise they won’t follow up for the results of that inquiry).
32. Sorry, it’s my cat birthday.
33. “My parents said I have to do so and so with them.” Meanwhile, my parents are out with their friends.
34. Oh I had this one happen to me. She said that she left the house without charging her phone and was supposedly on the train, so she had to go back home. Meanwhile I was waiting for her the whole time 😑.
35. One guy asked to postpone our date before I was about to leave the house because he said his book was too good to put down! My SIL once said she couldn’t leave the house for 3 hours because her kid was still napping.
36. My best friend missed my 30th birthday party because she “got her period.” She was also 30.
37. Had a bad day at work. I’ve been crying for a week now. Also. I’m almost 40, and it’s an obvious bull shit excuse especially because I’m the department head 🤣
38. I have told people I couldn’t come because my phone wasn’t charged and because it was raining (extremely lightly) and I didn’t have an umbrella.
39. My dad always says he has to clean out his sock drawer lol.
40. I had a friend cancel last minute on coming to my bachelorette party because her feet hurt from wearing heels all day.
41. Another shitty excuse lol! “Hey I can’t do anything today or tonight. I just took some laxatives and need to wait for those to kick in.”
42. That my pet parrot accidentally flew into a fema camp set up by the government and that I have to go on a rescue mission to get my fu$king parrot back and that it might take a couple of days until I can successfully rescue my parrot. Or I just say that i don’t want to.
43. “I would, but I have to go home and let my dog out!” I don’t have a dog.
44. My wife doesn’t want me to.
45. Toaster on fire sorry can’t make it.
46. My mom said no sorry.
47. I use my 1 year old as an excuse. Works every time.
48. I’ve got a personal family matter I need to take care of.
49. Tell them that you have a power outage and that your phone battery doesn’t have lots of %.
50. Tell them your grandma was doing your homework, but then the dog ate her, and they both died.
Excuses For Not Going out
51. Social battery died, sorry🔋😔.
52. My car died and I need to get a tow to the mechanic.
53. Sadly, did have plans recently that I legit had to cancel because my car wouldn’t start. The battery and alternator were dead.
54. Person 1: “my water just broke”
Person 2: really Kevin…?
Kevin:….”yes”…..
55. You can always blame it on pets. For instance, your fish needs to go for a walk, your cat is getting a haircut, or it’s your dog’s birthday party.
56. Tom’s house was broken into…
57. I can’t tonight I’m being abducted by aliens later.
58. I cut my foot earlier and now my shoe is filling up with blood.
59. You or someone has pink eye.
60. I gotta work.
61. Well it works for me cause I’m 24/7 on call so that’s my excuse.
62. “Cough, Cough” COVID “Cough, Cough.”
63. The truth.
64. I’m throwing up from both ends.
65. I thought the party was tomorrow!
66. Tell them a meteor hit your car & squashed it.
They’ll understand…
67. You: hey I am not gonna make it.
Friend : oh why not?
You: you know Finch from American pie.
Friend: 🤢
68. This only works if you live in an apartment building, but say the plumber and a repair person need to do emergency work/need access to your plumbing because something is going haywire in your downstairs neighbour’s plumbing.
69. “Sorry I’m walking my fish.”
That actually worked.
Several times!!
70. Staging my own death.
71. “I’m drowning in homework.” Which is true. I’m always drowning in homework.
72. Tell them I have a toothache and need to extract my wisdom tooth.
73. I can’t, my sister is home alone, and I can’t leave her all alone for that long.
74. No need to cancel plans if you don’t make ’em in the first place.
75. I’m sorry, I can’t make it. No reason required. I have stopped worrying about giving reasons to why I’m doing or not doing something and it’s much easier that way for me too.
Excuses To Not Go To A Party
76. “I have a slight fever” has worked for me for over 2 1/2 years now. No one even tries to talk me into going!
77. I am honest, if I don’t feel like going somewhere I’d just say I don’t feel like it. No need for excuses.
78. Tell them your cat is depressed so you need to stay in and tell it jokes.
79. “I wish I could, but I don’t want to”.
Quote from a television show.
80. In reality, these days I just say “no thank you” or that I’m not able to go for personal reasons. If the person presses for more information I just say I’d rather not talk about it.
81. Sorry guys, I’m just not feeling up to it tonight.
82. Hey, I’m gonna bail on tonight. I’m having a lot of anxiety and am just not feeling like being social.
83. I’m not gonna make it out. I just really need a night to myself.
84. I just stop responding
85. Not good advice but I just don’t answer. I apologize the next day and day my phone was on silent and fell asleep.
86. I’m just honest with my friends and say that I don’t feel like going out. We all deal with mental health issues and anxiety in our own ways, and some days you just don’t want to be social.
87. I say something like “just feeling a bit tired” which is a pretty constant feeling, so it’s always honest! Although only in a casual group setting where it’s not that important I’m there, I tend to force myself if I’m needed/expected.
88. I tell my extroverted friends that I need to go on a date with myself and they know it’s code for leave me alone please I don’t want to be social but I love you!
89. I ain’t coming.
90. It’s been a rough week and I don’t have the energy.
91. Dog isn’t well, don’t want to leave her alone.
92. “My herpes is flaring up again.”
93. Migraine is a good excuse, usually my go to.
94. My wife needed to speak with me about <literally anything at all no matter what time of day>.
95. Don’t know if this still works, but last year I used the excuse that I suspected that I had caught Covid. I was strictly instructed to NOT come. Best excuse ever.
96. I usually just say I can’t make it. Today my work Christmas meal got cancelled and honestly it was such a moment of joy!
97. Sorry I can’t I have plans with my cat.
98. I’ve used this a few times before.
99. I wish I could but I don’t want to.
100. I have too much work to do (Works best as a uni student).
Excuses Not To Hang Out
101. Helping my grandparents.
102. My favorite one is “I don’t wanna go”.
103. My hot water tank has a leak! I have contractors coming to replace it and they gave me a 6 hrs window.
104. I had a baby 18 months ago and honestly it’s the best excuse for EVERYTHING.
105. Soandso isn’t feeling well I’m helping keep an eye on her.
106. My pet is sick and I want to make sure he’s okay.
107. I twisted my ankle earlier and walking kinda hurts.
108. I’m sorry I totally forgot I had (insert fake plans) planned since a couple weeks ago!
109. I apologize I have (insert crisis) going on, I will call you if I become available tonight, but need to cancel.
110. Not saying the other person will automatically accept any of these but I’ve used these successfully to get out of things in the past.
Car trouble, feeling anxious/panicky, feeling non-social and overwhelmed, didn’t get enough sleep at all the night before. Unfortunately all of this is usually true.
111. Ear infection, diarrhea, fever, UTI, panic attacks are legit things I had these in the past and I actually did have to cancel because of them, so I guess those.
112. I tell them don’t feel good and need to rest. I give no further details. “If I didn’t say anything, people always assumed the worst.” Narrator – Fight Club 1999.
113. Say you’re extremely hungover from the night before, works for me because half the time I actually am hungover 😂.
114. Usually say I’m babysitting.
115. I say I have my juggling class or cooking with macramé class that night. Anything completely silly but I state it very seriously. Half the fun of declining is coming up with some absurd reason.
116. Normally I just say family emergency.
117. I have to sit at home and do nothing. Sorry.
118. My cat ate all the hamsters so I gotta buy some new ones.
100+ Excuses To Get Out Of Plans
All jokes aside, taking time for self-care is essential to maintaining your mental, emotional, and physical health.
It’s okay to prioritize yourself, feel free to use these excuses to get out of plans when you need a break.
Whether it’s a busy schedule, needing rest, or simply wanting some “me time,” don’t feel guilty for resting or saying no. Remember, your health and happiness are just as important as your commitments.
By setting boundaries with kindness and honesty, you can nurture yourself while keeping your relationships intact.
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