Do you feel like you could be living the life of your dreams but your confidence is getting in the way? Or maybe you just want to feel better about yourself. Confidence or self belief is the missing piece to living the life you have always wanted to live. And in this article, I will discuss the 10 effective ways on how to be more confident as a woman so that you can get out of your own way already.
What Are The Qualities Of A Confident Woman?
Confidence is a cocktail combination of positive self identity, self belief and self image. You know you’re confident when you have a strong sense of self that doesn’t seek external validation from others. Confidence is being sure of yourself, so sure that getting rejected by others doesn’t make you question yourself.
A confident person doesn’t judge themselves for the way they look, speak, and act instead they choose to focus on their positive qualities. Confidence is on a spectrum, your confidence can vary depending on what situation, it really depends on your life experience. Your experience backs your confidence and the more you do the more confident you become, hence the more confidence you get to try more things.
Confidence is feeling the fear and doing it anyway.
“It’s time to put on your big girl panties and start doing the things that scare the crap out of you.”FAVOUR EBEDE
How To Be More Confident As A Woman
1. Know Thyself
Know what your values are and live in alignment with those values. Any time you live in accordance with your values your confidence increases and anytime you deviate from your value your confidence in your self drops. Knowing your values also means not being afraid to set boundaries with your self and others. Know what you value and stand firm in that. Protect your values and be willing to walk away from people who don’t respect it.
It also helps knowing your feminine archetype as a woman. Here is a quiz if you are interested in knowing what your feminine archetype is.
2. Update your self concept
Most people go about their lives with their false self identity aka the shadow self.
I want you to ask yourself this important question. Who is (insert name here)? Really ponder on it. Who are you when no one’s looking? Who are you without your mask? Without the labels given to you.
You have the ability to create the person that you want to become. And you do that by impersonating that person. It’s kind of how superheroes (for a lack of a more womanly example) wear capes, put on a new identity and then transform into a badass, you can do it too!
3. Focus on what you are good at
Focus on the things that you do really well as opposed to focusing on the things you suck at. No one is perfect, everybody has something that they aren’t so good at and other things they naturally excel at.
When we shift the focus from trying to do what someone else does so effortlessly, this does wonders for our self esteem and clears room for our own potential. When life gives you a set of cards, you just have to make the best out of your own cards.
4. Romanticise your life
You don’t have to wait for permission to romanticise your life, whether you have a romantic partner or not. There is no Prince Charming coming to the rescue and even if he does come, the deep seated issues you repressed so well will surface back up again.
Live your life like it’s a rom-com movie already and stop waiting for him to show up. Sing from the rooftops, have a self love jingle that plays in your head all day, Get yourself flowers, Spoil yourself with lavish gifts and act surprised when you receive it, leave your comfort zone, treat your self how someone in love with you would treat you. That way, when he/she does show up, you wouldn’t feel undeserving of it.
5. Block out negative people
The effect that negative people have in your life can often be overlooked. Yet you wonder why you are so depressed, why you have no motivation to do anything, or why you suddenly become more anxious. Constant exposure to toxic people can not only be detrimental to your wellbeing, they can rid you of your sense of self and reduce your life span.
Spend time with people who love and accept you without judgement. People who fill your cup the same way you are willing to fill theirs up. If you take anything from this article, blocking out negative people should be high on the list because the effects and contagion they have is quite alarming. Read more about it here.
“Do not get sucked into other people’s burning buildings.”Favour ebede
Exercise releases endorphins which are feel good hormones that give us a temporary high. Do it overtime and it will have a more lasting impact on your mental health and you get to reap the benefits of having a banging body.
Exercise also has a ripple effect on other areas of your life as you start to eat better foods and sleep better, your mood is more stable and you have more energy to concentrate on daily activities throughout the day.
7. Use your voice
Women are hardwired to please everyone around them while leaving crumbs for themselves. We want to be liked and approved of by others but what about our own approval? Do not be afraid to ask for what you want and need. Being overly nice and suppressing your voice doesn’t get you liked it gets you used. It forces you to shrink and stay small.
The only people who will be unhappy with you setting boundaries are the people who never deserved to have access to you in the first place. Put yourself first, use your voice and start using the word NO without over-explaining and apologising.
8. Take pride in your appearance
You can do all the work developing your mindset but if you fail to consider your grooming and appearance, it can make you feel like an imposter.
The style and colours of clothes you put on can greatly impact your mood and change the way you see yourself. It can turn a gloomy day into a more positive day. It can put a smile on your face. Clothes make you more attractive and is the quickest way to boost your confidence.
I suggest making a Pinterest style board. Collate all fashion inspiration of the style you are aspiring to have. While you are at it, don’t neglect your hair, nails and makeup.
9. Repetition Repetition Repetition
The secret to confidence is in your daily habits. From the moment you wake up till it’s time for bed. The thoughts you have, the actions or inactions you take consistently, how you treat yourself etc. Start by making your wellness a priority by taking action on the things that make you feel good. These habits overtime will begin to shape your identity. I want you to take personal inventory on the things that light you up or the things you want to get good at. Do these things EVERYDAY. Become a master at doing it and watch your confidence grow.
“You are not what you want, you are what you consistently do.”unknown
10. Stop Judging Yourself
Stop beating yourself up for not being perfect. When we judge ourselves we are essentially comparing ourselves to others. You are you and that’s worth celebrating. Be authentic to yourself.
The secret to stop being shy or having social anxiety is to stop judging yourself. And to realise that we are all flawed humans even though some of us hide it so well. Another secret to putting yourself out there is to accept yourself. The dreams that you have for yourself have to be bigger than your fears (judgement). Everyone is going to die at some point, you definitely do not want to waste this lifetime judging and hating yourself.
Instead of judging yourself, praise yourself.