Know your worth and add tax, especially when you feel devalued. Choosing to silence that feeling to keep the peace will feel uncomfortable, like someone has overstepped and violated you. Trust that feeling when you get it, it’s no accident.
How do you know your worth and add tax?
Knowing your worth means you are aware of the your own value and the value you give yourself as you show up in the world. And to know your value, you need to be aware of your strengths and uniqueness. In other words, what do you bring to the table?
Everyone has something unique about them, that they can offer, no matter how minuscule it seems to you, it could dramatically enhance someone’s life.
Know your worth with added add tax is knowing your value and including other requirements for how you would like to be treated.
Your worth does not come from overworking, overgiving and being self-sacrificial. Your worth comes by just being“Favour Ebede
Life is too short
I worked at job I was miserable in and filled the void I felt with mindless scrolling, binge watching and buying material things……..
“Life is too short to work at a job you hate, be around people you don’t like, doing things you couldn’t care less about”Favour Ebede
I just felt that I could be doing more and that I was wasting my time and though I loved the social aspect of my job and was surprisingly good at it, I didn’t feel fulfilled.
A voice in my head kept saying to me that I deserve better. That voice made me feel even more guilty because I told my self I had no other choice, I told myself that It was just my pride talking, but what I was really saying was that I am not worthy of the life that I want.
So I settled.
Soon, I finally realised that I would rather bet on myself than to stay at a job that was really holding me back. I claimed back my worthiness and happiness by quitting and choosing to bet on myself because God forbid it was my last day on earth I would hate to end it scrubbing toilets!
My happiness and peace of mind is worth more than money.
The people you have your life mirror the level of self love you have for yourself
I used to feel very unworthy so much so that when I was in a situation deciding between their comfort or mine. I would choose them. It took me years to finally let go of people or situations that weren’t good for me.
Now I find myself listening to me a lot more.
It doesn’t take weeks, months and years to decide if someone or something is good for you or not.
The struggle to know your worth is an indication that people can get away with treating you poorly. Be the woman who is not afraid to ask for more than basic respect because she knows her worth.
“Don’t be afraid to walk away, more time the other person knows your value but they are secretly hoping you don’t know”Favour Ebede
Your beauty isn’t tied to your self worth
Society ties pretty privilege and/or an expensive body to climbing up in the worth hierarchy. But make no mistake, beauty and how you are treated is not always unanimous.
We’ve all heard numerous stories in the media, of gorgeous women being treated like garbage and what people would generally consider less attractive women in harmonious relationships with really attractive (by societal standard) men.
The difference between the two types of women is standards.
Lesson here is you don’t have to be beautiful to ask for more and even beautiful people still accept less than they deserve.
You just need to be aware of what you will and will not tolerate and be self assured enough to know that there is someone is willing and ready to meet your standard.
Related: How To Be More Confident As A Woman
How To Know Your Worth And Add Tax
1. Listen to yourself
Listening is an act of respect. Since listening to yourself commands respect and inevitably builds self trust, you can’t have a high self worth, if you don’t trust and respect yourself.
How can you expect others to respect you, if you don’t respect yourself first ?
And I get it. If you’ve been in abusive relationships, it’s hard to trust yourself because in your experience you’ve been invalidated and gaslighted so many times to the point of questioning your sanity.
It’s no wonder why you confuse red flags for green. It’s no wonder why it’s much easier to gaslight yourself than to make someone else uncomfortable for disrespecting you.
Start affirming yourself. Let toxic people go. Your body knows from experience that something is not right. Learn to trust that, it will save you from so much pain.
2. Address your insecurities
What triggers you? What you complain about the most, will show you where you need shadow work.
Hyper focusing on people who make you question your worth, shows that you are subconsciously attracted to them.
Ask yourself why that is resonating with you.
If it didn’t resonate you wouldn’t focus on it and complain about it so much. You will just go about your business because it has nothing to do with you.
We tend to measure our self worth by how other people treat us, and this affects how we see ourselves and subsequently how we treat and value ourselves.
Somehow someone treating us badly confirms to us the unworthiness that we have carried inside of us – so it’s much easier to focus on the negative things than the good things that make us feel like amazing human beings.
“Your worth is not determined by how other people treat you, it is determined by how you treat yourself”Favour Ebede
3. Treat yourself like someone of importance
I used to be that girl who would put myself last so I attracted people who would’nt prioritise me.
I remember wanting my ex and my friends to put more effort into our relationship, to treat me like someone who actually matters but little did I know they were all holding up a giant mirror for me to look at the parts of my life that I put on the back burner.
It’s time to start putting a premium on everything that concerns you – Your appearance. Goals. Body. Mind, that way people around you can take their cues on how to approach you let alone treat you.
That’s how you know your worth and add tax
Even if people don’t treat you well, you are not likely to internalise it because it wouldn’t resonate with you.
“Your worth is not determined by how other people treat you. It is determined by how you treat yourself”Favour Ebede
4. Embrace solitude
Society views solitude as a form of taboo or punishment. This article talks about the benefits of being alone. I want to highlight that being afraid to be alone with your thoughts, is the quickest way to make bad decisions.
Most people entertain others who make them feel worse, stay in relationships even when it’s not working, just to say they have somebody. People will do anything not to be alone.
On the other hand, seeing yourself as your best friend and not being afraid to be alone will mean that your block and delete game is exercised every now and then. Solitude can make you no longer desperate for just anybody, you understand the value of relationships and would rather not settle for crumbs.
You realise that no company at all is better than bad company.
The collateral damage is just not worth it – Your peace of mind, confidence, success, time wasted, emotional investments, I could go on…
“Being afraid to be alone is how you allow your self worth to be up for bargain“Favour ebede
5. Positive self talk
When you look in the mirror what do you see?
Are the words that come up for you, words of regret, shame, criticism? Do you always find yourself coming up short?
This goes back to practising self love.
We give ourselves a hard time for just being human. It’s hard you know..life ain’t easy.
Have you even thanked your cells for corporating with your body to keep you alive and all that it does for you?
Can you imagine just walking around with a constant critic on your back judging you about everything? It’s bad enough that others judge you for being yourself. Take the time out to praise yourself, life will be easier, you would actually enjoy your own company and it will boost your self worth.
6. Stand up for yourself
I knew I started knowing my worth when the words NO rolled out of my tongue quite easily, I didn’t even have to give the old sympathetic explanation as to why I couldn’t.
What an empowering moment that was!
My reason for not doing it sooner was the terror on peoples’ faces when I let them down, but as it turns out most people are very understanding, some get uncomfortable, others will lash out at you.
But honestly, none of it matters.
What matters is your ability to express yourself without censorship, there is power in being authentic in expressing your feelings versus complaining about it or gossiping to someone else who cares to listen.
Know your worth, act accordingly and then add some tax.
Is there anything else I left out that has helped increase your self worth? Let me know in the comments