The “soft girl era” has taken over TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube, but it’s more than an aesthetic—it’s a mindset.

This movement is about slowing down, embracing feminine energy, and finding balance in life.

As women, we all have both masculine and feminine energy. Feminine energy helps us relax, nurture, and connect, while masculine energy kicks in when we need to be assertive or take charge.

Tapping into your masculine side isn’t bad

Have you ever stayed calm and gentle with someone, only for them to keep disrespecting you? Then you had to set them straight to show you’re not the one to be messed with?

That’s your masculine energy stepping in. It’s essential sometimes, however, balance is key.

When we lean too far into our masculine energy and neglect our feminine side, it can leave us out and disconnected.

Entering your soft girl era means prioritizing self-care, embracing gentleness, and allowing yourself to be vulnerable.

As women, we deserve love, care, and nurturing to blossom fully.

If you’re exhausted from hustle culture and craving for a softer life, now may be the time to embrace your soft girl era.

@usedburgerpickles i dont know what to do anymore. i am exhausted. #fyp #finances #mentalhealth #work #job #money #help #financialliteracy #rent ♬ original sound – UsedBurgerPickles

Wondering how to live a softer life? Keep reading to find out.

Related: How To Be More Soft And Feminine

1. Believe That You Deserve A Soft Life

The first and most important step to entering your soft girl era is to believe that you deserve a soft life.

Many of us, shaped by past traumas or a lifetime of constant struggle, have been conditioned to think that good things must always come through relentless hustle.

We’ve internalized the belief that ease and comfort are luxuries we must fight for—or worse, that they’re things we don’t deserve at all.

But here’s the truth: you deserve the best things in life. You are worthy of ease, comfort, and happiness, simply because you exist.

Shift your mindset and open your heart to the idea that you can experience good things effortlessly.

When you believe you deserve the best, you begin to attract the people, and opportunities, that align with that belief.

2. Seek Therapy

Many of us have endured childhood traumas or been deeply hurt by people we trusted—those who were supposed to protect us. These experiences often lead us to build high walls of self-protection, also known as defense mechanisms. And honestly, it’s not our fault.

This is why therapy is so important. It provides a safe space to heal past wounds, including the pain carried by your inner child.

Healing is not only essential for tapping into your feminine energy but also for thriving in it.

Therapy helps you lower your guard, step out of constant defense mode, and embrace life with openness and trust. A licensed therapist can guide you through this journey.

3. Slow Down

When I say slow down, I mean literally slow down.

You are not a machine. Learn to take breaks and pace yourself. Oftentimes, we push ourselves harder than our strength or capabilities allow.

When you’re moving too fast, you lose sight of what’s happening around you. Your mind becomes so focused on performance that you may stop seeing yourself as a woman—or even as human.

This mindset often leads to self-criticism, as you start expecting superhuman results from yourself. Over time, this can result in burnout.

So, take a deep breath. Pause. Allow yourself to slow down.

4. Learn To Approach Conflict In A Gentle Way

Listen, your conflict resolution style might not always be the best approach in every situation.

You need to view things from a different angle.

Not every disagreement should lead to a quarrel or fight. Disagreements are normal in friendships and romantic relationships—even members of a loving, healthy family can have disagreements.

It’s totally normal.

However, the way you approach those conflicts is what makes them either positive or negative.

Instead of always raising your voice, trying to have the last word, or squaring up for a fight, a simple dialogue can resolve the issue in a better way. Not only is this feminine, but it also shows that you have emotional intelligence.

5. Silence Is Golden

I’ve been apologized to by people who became afraid that I might do something to them later on because of my silence.

When people expect you to react in a certain way in certain situations, give them the exact opposite—and silence is the best way to do that.

There will be times when someone deliberately steps on your toes just to get you out of character or make you lose your cool, all while acting innocent to make you seem like the crazy one. What do you do? Starve them!

Don’t let them break you down. You are a queen. Hold your head high and be silent. And if it’s starting to get to you, walk away majestically.

6. Understand That You Can’t Control Everything

You have to understand that things won’t always go your way—and that’s perfectly okay. Learn to let go of control.

Apart from being masculine, holding on to control too much can negatively affect many areas of our lives. The crazy thing is, sometimes we don’t even realize we’re control freaks.

Now, if you are controlling, I’m not judging you, because I was once like that—yep, I was. I would literally have a meltdown if things didn’t go the way I wanted them to. And it wasn’t that things didn’t go well; they just didn’t happen my way.

This is a very bad habit that can ruin good relationships because nobody wants to be a puppet.

So stop being controlling, yes, you, I’m talking to you!

7. You Don’t Chase, You Attract

Stop chasing anyone. If you’re in a relationship where you’re giving your all and the other person isn’t reciprocating, pull away.

If a man isn’t giving you even the bare minimum, step back.

If a relationship or friendship is causing you stress, cut it off.

You don’t need that energy in your life.

What’s meant for you will come to you naturally.

Chasing doesn’t align with a woman’s natural autonomy. That’s why women who take on the role of chaser in relationships often feel stressed—it’s simply not in our nature.

A woman in her soft girl era leans back, allowing the man to step up and make decisions that align with her needs.

Stop double-texting, over-calling, stressing, yelling, or constantly trying to fix things. Stop striving to take the lead, make plans, or get closure.

Instead, shift your focus. Engage in hobbies, practice self-care, and spend time with friends. If things work out, great. If they don’t, let them go.

8. Be Vulnerable

Crying is not a sign of weakness. It’s a natural and healthy way to express your feelings.

Being vulnerable doesn’t make you any less strong—it makes you human.You don’t always have to be the strong one, perfectly composed or have everything figured out. Life can be tough, and sometimes things fall apart.

When that happens, allow yourself to break down and release those emotions.

Find a community, a friend, or someone you trust who creates a safe space for you to be vulnerable. Ask for help and be open to receiving it.

If your current circle makes you feel ashamed for expressing your emotions or belittles you when you cry, it’s time to remove yourself from that group, as it is considered toxic.

Surround yourself with people who value your vulnerability, offer support, and accept you as you are.

9. Be Selfish

Hear me out, Selfishness is not entirely a bad thing. You need to fill your cup before you can pour into others. Investing your strength in people and giving your all without receiving the same effort in return can lead to burnout and leave you feeling emotionally drained and empty.

So, think of prioritizing yourself as a form of self-care.

10. Make Time For Self Care

As a girl in her soft girl era, treat your body with kindness, and it’ll thank you for it.

Sis, you shouldn’t be walking out with your hair undone. And when I say getting your hair done, this doesn’t always involve extensions or wigs. If you love to wear your natural hair, make sure it’s properly washed, conditioned, and styled.

Skincare is very IMPORTANT. Choose products that match your skin type. If you’re not sure where to start, a dermatologist can help.

Avoid ill-fitting clothes and tarnished jewelry—they don’t look good at all. Invest more in skirts and dresses.

Get your nails done—manicure, pedicure, it’s a must. If you can’t afford to get them done professionally, you can always do them at home. Don’t sleep on press-ons either!

Get your lashes done, and if you don’t like lash extensions, strip lashes are also great. Personally, I prefer strip lashes..

Always appear neat, and make sure your clothes are well-ironed and steamed

Take care of your feminine area. Don’t douche, wear airy underwear, and take your probiotics.

Let me give you a little secret—cranberry and pineapple juice are the GOAT for Lady V. Shhhh, keep it a secret!

Prioritize sleep. Aim for up to 8 hours of sleep every day. I call it “the beauty sleep.

Have a nice collection of scents— I’m talking about perfumes, body sprays, body mists. You shouldn’t be walking around smelling your problems, sis. Not demure, not mindful

Practice meditation and say affirmations to yourself every morning and night.

Oh! Before I forget, Exercise regularly. Be it a home workout or the gym, whatever you are comfortable with.

Start Living The Soft Life

Stepping into your soft girl era is all about embracing calm, finding beauty in simplicity, and living with intention. It’s not about perfection or trends—it’s about showing up for yourself in a way that feels authentic and comforting.

So, take that first step, surround yourself with things that make you happy, and let life flow at a pace that feels right for you. The soft girl era isn’t just a phase—it’s a reminder that life feels better when you let yourself breathe.

Welcome to your soft girl era— it feels so refreshing, doesn’t it